Unpublished work by Dan Darrah

Dan Darrah's first collection published by Permanent Sleep entitled 'What else we could be doing' is sold out, to celebrate we decided to share his latest offering, a previously unpublished poem entitled Dominion. 

DOMINION

back in the fall i realized
that the only thing i had at my disposal
was hanging up the phone and not picking back up. 
my words couldn’t shake you
because you never believed in them. 
all i could say to you was
that i wouldn’t pick up anymore, and now
i’ve got a whole life to prove
that i meant it, that i won’t pick up
and offer up the love that people trap in jars
and get friends to hide from them, love
that comes out in wal-mart parking lots with
clear views of stars -
full, pure, stripped of complications.

i’ve been spending mornings in my kitchen
fighting with my hands.
i’ve been spending mornings in my kitchen
running through life with a brush.
i’ve been spending mornings in my kitchen
trying to reconcile in my head
all the times i wanted to kill you but
never, ever wanted you to die.
i’ve been spending mornings in my kitchen
loosening your dominion,
pulling out your planted flags from
the cupboards and counters -
the things that you made yours
with confessionals and apologies, then more confessionals, 
the things that you made yours, and remade yours, 
whenever you called.

but these days those flags are getting smaller;
they used to be full-size like at schools, now
they’re sandwich toppers for picnics, and soon
they’ll be stamps, and one day,
they’ll just be splayed paint on paper, 
colours that fade -
no longer love, just
leftover coffee mugs and hairclips
and hair on the couch, 
things that disappear on their own.

i’ve been spending mornings in the summer balm,
stuck in wide fields like they were amber.